Something funny....

I found this thing in an Uncle John's Bathroom Reader and it made me wonder what the heck it was saying and kinda made me giggle to. I'll put my "rough translation" afterwards....

An "Obscure" Tale
One morning, a valgus hobberdehoy was cornobbled by a very old leptorrhinian calcographer. "You twiddlepoopy liripoop!" faffled the hobberdehoy, "You've given me a wem that smells of bodewash!"
"So sorry," belched the saprostomous calcographer. "I was unaware that my jumentous mundungus was cornobbling you."
"Whatever, you spodogenous whipjack! Now I must go to my xystus and run my balbriggan galligaskin through my chirogymnasts to get this wem out!"
The calcographer felt like a dasypygal pismire. "I have lost my toxophily," he said sadly.
"Wait a second," faffled the hobberdehoy. "Did you say toxiphily? You remind me of my toxophillic atmatertera. You have the same anisognathous mouth as she."
"Does she go by the name Esmerelda?" asked the calcographer/
"Why yes, yes she does. She was brideloped by a calcographer many moons ago."
And then they looked at each other.
"Bob?"
"Jim?"
And then Bob and his great great great grandfather Jim went happily to Bob's xystus to de-wem his balbriggan galligaskin.

My translation (Based on the word definitions given on a previous page)

One morning, a bow legged young man was hit with a fish by a very old long nosed chalk drawer. "You feminine, silly looking creature!" stuttered the young man, "You've given me a stain that smells of cow dung!"
"So sorry," belched the bad breathed chalk-drawer. "I was unaware that my pungent garbage was hitting you with a fish."
"Whatever, you wasteful beggar! Now I must go to my indoor porch and run my cotton, baggy trousers through my finger excercising machine to get this stain out!"
The chalk-drawer felt like an ant with hairy buttocks. "I have lost my love of archery," he said sadly.
"Wait a second," stuttered the young man. "Did you say love of archery? You remind me of my great granfather's grandmother's sister who loves archery. You have the same uneven mouth as she."
"Does she go by the name Esmerelda?" asked the chalk drawer.
"Why yes, yes she does. She was swept off on horseback by a chalk drawer many moons ago."
And then they looked at each other.
"Bob?"
"Jim?"
And then Bob and his great great great grandfather Jim went happily to Bob's indoor porch to de-stain his cotton baggy trousers.


And just so you can see for yourself, I'll retype the words and their meanings!

Hobberdehoy: A youth entering manhood
Faffle: To stutter or mumble
Dasypygal: Having hairy buttocks
Cornobbled: Hit with a fish
Wem: Stain, flaw or scar
Calcographer: One who draws with chalk
Bodewash: Cow dung
Twiddlepoop: An effeminate looking man
Liripoop: A Silly creature
Leptorrhinian: Having a long, narrow nose
Bridelope: When the new bride is "both symbolically and physically swept off on horseback" to the husband's home.
Mundungus: Garbage; Stinky Tobacco
Chirogymnast: A finger excercising machine for pianists
Toxophily: Love of archery
Pismire: An Ant
Valgus: Bowlegged or knock kneed
Xystus: An indoor porch for excercising in winter
Jumentous: Having a strong animal smell
Saprostomous: Having bad breath
Balbriggan: A Fine cotton used mainly for underwear
Atmatertera: a Great grandfather's grandmother's sister
Anisognathous: Having the upper and lower teeth unlike
Whipjack: A begger pretending to be shipwrecked
Spodogenous: Pertaining to or due to the presence of waste matter
Galligaskin: Baggy trousers

Anyways, enjoy :)